I learned the hard way, that they all say, things you want to hear....

My heavy heart sinks deep down under you...And your twisted words. Your help just hurts..You are NOT what I THOUGHT you were......

Hello to high and dry....

So I was going to Vegas and to make a long story short so was he. He applied for a last minute internship, flew to Vegas (first time he ever flew in his life). And -- against my will -- followed me out there.

The first week I was there alone, he was driving cross country with his father so he'd have a car for the summer. My week of freedom was fun. I made new friends, went out a little bit and got accustomed to my internship. I must admit I missed Dustin and day by day became more optimistic about him spending the summer with me.

I remember the first night he arrived. He picked me up and looked so handsome. He had on a funny shirt, but he still looked good. His internship didn't start right away so like at home we spent most of our free time together.

Dustin needed to find a place to stay for the summer. I did not want him living at the dorms with me at first because I still wanted my independence, but little did I know I should have been careful what I wished for.

When Dustin's internship began he had to work long days and our time spent together was limited. His internship was also unpaid so he had very little cash on him. I was all too soon exposed to a side of Dustin I had never seen.He was negative, short tempered, moody and less and less affectionate. I was in shock.

I soon took on the role of the one who wanted to spend every second with him. As the summer progressed the roles of our unique relationship seemingly reversed. I was the one fighting for his time and attention and the more I started to feel bad and take it personally.

Dustin no longer seemed to take an interest in me like he did back in Connecticut. He started calling me names and just seemed depressed all the time. We didn't do fun things anymore. And when we did all he did was complain about money and say he was tired.

Day by day I became more and more depressed and felt more and more alone. There were weeks where we didn't see each other for days at a time because he was working many hours at his internship. I spent this time wishing we had never come to Vegas and waiting for August for us to go home.

Because I felt so alone, I began to depend on Dustin more and more. The guy who once kissed my ass and acted as if he would do anything to see me smile seemed to do anything and everything but.

The time we spent together was spent fighting. It was depressing. The more he acted this way the more I wanted to be with him. And the closer I wanted to get the more distant we felt and I began turning to old coping habits.

I have been battling bulimia for about four and a half years. I finally came clean to my family earlier that year and was going for treatment back home. Dustin was there for me while I was in treatment and was so supportive and such a positive influence that I considered him my safety. When I was with him I didn't feel the need to throw up. He made me feel safe and made me want to get better and healthy, but during the summer, though there were times he couldn't be there, when he was there that sense of safety turned in to fear that he didn't like me anymore and he loved me less, so I began binging and purging daily to fill the void of not having my family, friends or Dustin. . .

This tumultuous cycle continued for most of the summer whether I was with Dustin or not. And many times I would consume alcohol while on a near empty stomach. This helped me to feel fuller, loosen up and fall sleep.

One night in particular Dustin and I went to see a show. We had only eaten once that day and I once again over indulged, it was only salad and hummus, but I was too full for comfort and ended the meal with a little bathroom visit that in my world I referred to ask "taking care of business."

During the show I had a few drinks, three total I believe, and after the show I became very sick. I had the worst heart burn ever. It was so bad I had to sit down. I figured it was just the alcohol burning my insides like it usually did, but this time I was hunched over in pain.

I told him I needed food and as I was taking my first bite of a fried oreo I blacked out. Thirty seconds later I woke up on the ground and in pain. People were huddled around me and I went to touch the back of my head where I felt the most pain and when I looked down at my hand I saw lots of blood.

I began panicking and the next thing I knew I was locked in to a stretcher and taken by ambulance to the nearest hospital.

After nearly 4 hours in the ER, I received 10 staples in my head and was told I needed to stay over night. After some tests and lots of morphine it was determined I had a seizure and I fractured my skull. I also had internal bleeding in my brain. I was not going home anytime soon.

Dustin stayed by my side the first two days. Though I was in and out, it was the first time I felt like he really cared about me in a while. A few days later my mom arrived, and despite the circumstances I was so relieved to have her there. I missed her so much and really needed her there.

I was in the hospital for six days and when I got out we stayed at my mom's hotel. I wasn't feeling very well. It was hard for me to stay up for long periods of time and on top of it the left side of my face was paralyzed and I couldn't hear out of my left ear.

Dustin did his best to be supportive, but was still not the same guy I had been dating a few months before we came to Vegas. I needed to rest a lot and I understand he didn't want to babysit me. but he seemed to be more concerned with playing roulette and winning money than understanding that I needed to rest and wanted him there to take care of me.

He kept reminding me that he didn't leave my side for two days and he brought me a card and stuffed animal while I was in the hospital. And at one point said something to the effect that it wasn't fair that just because I was tired he couldn't have fun.

It was my mom's first time in Vegas and I felt so bad that she had to spend it taking care of me. I often encouraged her to go gambling with Dustin and she went a few times, but most of the time she stayed with me. I even tried to watch them play a few times, but the noise and smell of smoke would get to me and I'd need to lay down.

One of the last nights my mom was in Vegas Dustin and I were laying in bed. We were cuddling and I told him I could not wait to go home so things could go back to normal and our relationship could grow like we always wanted. The last time we were home I didn't want to be with him, but now I was ready to commit and the thought of what our relationship was going to be once we got home made me smile.

Dustin didn't seem to feel the same. He kind of blew off the subject and this made me cry as most things he said that summer did. He then told me he had a meeting with his bosses earlier that week and they had asked him to extend his internship and if he did there would be a chance they would hire him as a full-time employee.

I had asked him if he had given them an answer yet and he didn't have to say yes or no because I knew his mind was already made up.

So let's get this straight, the boy he couldn't let me come to Vegas alone because he "couldn't live without me or risk losing me" was now willing to live without me and risk losing me to stay in Vegas. Hmmmm, in less than three months this sweet, innocent guy that had worked so hard to make me fall for him was now willing to give me up because something worked out for him in Vegas.

Maybe my version/take on the situation is a bit bias, but Dustin was self-centered the entire time he pursued me because the clearer I made it to him that I was not ready to be with him, the more he pushed and when I told him not to follow me he didn't care, he wanted to be with me, so he did everything he could to get his way. . . It's always been about Dustin and for the first time I realized how self-centered and out for himself he was.

Don't get me wrong, he did find a job that paired his favorite hobby and his stellar talents, but he still had to finish school and if they wanted him that bad he could finish his last semester and go back, right?

He didn't even consider mentioning it, in fact to this day his bosses still think he graduated college.

Anyways my last few weeks in Vegas were the lowest point of our relationship. I was so hurt and betrayed. I could not get over the fact that Dustin tagged along on my summer internship (uninvited) and he got his cake (to follow me) and he got to eat it too (he received a great opportunity).

Dustin had pushed so hard to bring us together that he ultimately pushed us apart, 3,000 miles apart and he didn't seem too upset.

OK so I did forget to mention that in the beginning of the summer I had become so smitten with Vegas I told Dustin I wanted to move to Vegas. I really liked my internship and learned there was a lot of opportunity for me within the company. But post-fracturing my skull, my parents wanted me to get home ASAP and recuperate. Dustin threw the fact that I was the one that originally wanted to stay in my face and said I didn't have to go home. He completely disregarded the fact that I had a fractured skull, a paralyzed face and was not feeling well.

In my mind, Dustin was only out for himself and he wouldn't let anything stand in the way of what was best for Dustin. He would do and say anything to get his way and have things work in his favor. He wasn't exactly begging me to stay, but he definitely was not coming home and the choice was to try the long distance thing or for me to move to Vegas.

I went home. I hated being without him. He seemed to miss me, but he had his job oh and the freedom to play poker during all of his free time. I failed mentioned the obsession Dustin has with his hobby -- poker. He would play night and day for hours and hours and it wouldn't phase him. This was another side of him I saw this summer. It's all he wanted to do, whether he played online or live as long as he was playing he was happy.

This also added to my frustration with Dustin that summer because on many of his days off he wanted to play poker. In fact, most nights before we went out, while I showered and got ready he'd have me drop him off on the strip and meet him later. And a few times on his day off he would want to go play for a few hours. When I'd get mad he'd say he needed some time to do the things he enjoyed and he didn't always have to be with me.

This coming from the guy that told me months before he didn't want to play poker as much when he was with me because hanging out with me was funner. And from the guy that wanted to spend every free second we had together doing anything I wanted. It just didn't add up.

Now here I was coming off of an awful summer as far as our relationship went and I was home and he was in Vegas. I had a lot of thinking to do. And darn was it good to be home!